He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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