I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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