I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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