I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
