I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
