Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think my moral compass just broke
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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