Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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