she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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