So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
