Whod you bang
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
