u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You've changed since you got that strap on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
