some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
