I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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