I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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