So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
