Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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