i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
