i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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