Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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