This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
