In the future we'll all be gay
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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