She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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