I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
