We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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