dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I look better un-naked...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize