Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize