We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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