People in love make me want to vomit
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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