I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize