rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
