I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize