Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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