I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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