Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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