I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
