Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
