when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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