It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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