I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
