According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
