i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
