And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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