She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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