I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
