Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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