Quick, to the slutcave!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
