His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He felt like a one man threesome
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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