i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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