dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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