the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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