I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize