but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
