There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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