god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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