This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
