Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
