Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
