So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
