So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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