somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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