i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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