I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
