Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
