I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
