Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
try to milk me bitch
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