I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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