Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
