god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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