Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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