Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
