She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
