i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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