Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
