Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
