I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
