Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
